Free time

Yesterday, Michael was invited to play tennis with some of the other attorneys in his firm. They met in Idaho Falls, about 30 miles from we live, at 7 am. Needless to say, Michael got up pretty early in order to get there on time. After playing for several hours and since he was in town, he headed to Sam's Club to get some diapers and other things. By the time he got home, it was 11:30. It felt like a weekday to me just because Michael leaves early in the morning to go to work and I'm home with Annabelle. Now before you think I'm complaining, let me finish the rest of the story. Once Michael was home, I fed Annabelle some lunch and put her down for a nap about an hour later, then tidied the house because there was a possibility we would be having company over to watch the BYU/Washington football game. It was a difficult game to watch, but thankfully, BYU pulled out a win. Soon after the game finished, the guy who had come over to watch the game at our house asked if Michael wanted to throw the football around. Of course, how could he turn down such an enticing proposition? So once again, I found myself watching Annabelle by myself. A couple of other guys ended up joining the game and I know Michael enjoyed himself. I, on the other hand, was struggling to keep my fearless and curious daughter out of trouble. She has been throwing tantrums every time she doesn't get her way and has learned the words, "No", "Don't", and "Stop" and likes to say them to me a lot. In addition, I have found that for some reason my patience is not where it should be. I think Annabelle has already entered the terrible 2's and that stage of life requires tons of patience from the parents, so this is not a good time for me to be losing it. But, I've also found that I'm not as patient with Michael, either. I have no idea why this is suddenly happening, but I'm trying to work on it.

Anyway, the point of this article is not to talk about my issues with being impatient. Michael could tell from my telling him and also from pure observation that I'm struggling a little bit and could use some time away from Annabelle. So last night, after coming in from the football, he offered to watch Annabelle for the rest of the night and let me go do whatever I wanted. And again, tonight he offered to take Annabelle on a walk and let me be by myself. I thought about having some me-time. It's been a while. Of course, I have some time when Annabelle takes a nap, but I never know how long it will last. Last night, I turned down the offer, although I was touched. And tonight, while I was alone, I spent the time cleaning the floor (I know, you're not supposed to do chores on the Sabbath, but Annabelle had spilled some milk and other substances on the floor and you couldn't walk on it without your feet sticking to the floor). I got a little but of piano playing, but not much.

So, here's my problem. I am constantly busy, whether it's cleaning the house, doing laundry, making dinner, taking care of Annabelle (which she needs A LOT of active attention), etc. Long gone are the days when I could go out and do anything I wanted. But now, when I'm given a chance to do just that, I can't think of what I want to do. Do I read or spend a night on the town (I'd have to drive to Idaho Falls to really be able to do something wild) or maybe just a nice refreshing walk around the street of town homes I live on? There are things that I enjoy but they all involve the family. I mean, really, what do women do when they have free time? This is just something I will have to relearn as time goes by.