Sad loss

Which is worse: losing a game where the two opponents are evenly matched and the score has been close throughout the entire game or losing after being ahead by so much that is seems impossible to lose? To anyone who has ever played any sort of game, whether it be a board game or a sporting activity, you know how much harder it is to lose after being ahead by quite a bit.

I experienced this awful feeling when playing bocce ball with my mother-in-law last night. I can't recall a time that just the two of us have played against each other, but it seems to me that when we would play in big groups of people, Cynthia has always been better at this game than I have been. Don't get me wrong, I'm not absolutely terrible. I would describe my bocce game as being off and on. Sometimes, I play a pretty good round, but other times, I play terribly. I do believe have beaten Michael once, maybe twice, which is something I remember with great pride, but usually he beats me.

Last night, I started out excellently. I couldn't ask for a better start. Cynthia allowed me to throw first (if you don't know how to play, click here to find out more). I thought it was a nice gesture, but thought it might be a way to see if my game was on or not. Well, I proceeded to throw my best game ever, well, until I got to game point. The first person with 11 points, wins. I had 10 points, and not only was I one point away from winning, Cynthia had 0 points. I thought there was no way I could lose. Keep in mind, that I love Cynthia, and there is no bad blood between us. I was just playing so well and I thought this might be the only time I beat her. I threw the pallino for what I thought was the last time, but two things happened to keep me from winning: I had two bad throws and Cynthia had a good one. She won that round and got her first point. "Well, I'm still in the lead by a lot. I won't worry about this round", I thought to myself. The next round, Cynthia won not one, but two points, bringing the score to 10-3. Again, I told myself not to worry. I'd get her in the next round. But, I was wrong again. Cynthia won two more points. "Okay", I thought. "No more messing around". But try as I might, I couldn't get my game on. Some throws were just totally off, and others unfortunately met with some bad bounces. There were times were I got really close to the pallino and thought that the game would be over, but Cynthia would sneak her ball in and be just a little bit closer. Finally, the score was 10-9. Cynthia threw the pallino and although I got a ball kind of close, Cynthia got both of hers closer and went on the win, 11-10.

I couldn't believe it. Although I tried no to show it, I was bitterly disappointed in myself for having lost, when I was so close to winning. I am not nearly as competitive as my in-laws (well, Michael is probably the most competitive), but I do like to win as much as anyone. And being so close to tasting victory, then having it snatched away was almost more than I could bear. However, I have since since gotten over my disappointing loss and look forward to more games in the future. I commend my opponent in her well-played game and will be so bold as to ask for a rematch, in the hopes that I might have another chance at victory and this time, take full advantage of it.